This moment right here. Being pregnant with our sweet rainbow baby brings me such a joy that it could ONLY be created by God himself. I am so in love with this family that we created, both in heaven and here Earth side. If I could bundle up my emotions and express to you all of my feelings into this one blog post, it would end up being a novel. Losing our twin boys was, without a doubt, the hardest moment in our lives but what sweet sweet love Jesus has for us to give us a rainbow in the middle of our storm. How incredible is He to never give up on us, to have a perfect plan for our lives. I told myself that before I turned 24, I would be married with about three kids. How miraculous that it came true. I’m a mama to three, not in the way I had expected it to be but in a way that God knew it would be. His way hasn’t been the easiest ON me but it’s the best FOR me. After losing my babies I thought I would have a heart of coal but oh how opposite that came to be. MY heart is FILLED with the love of the Holy Spirit. I look at things more beautiful than I did before, brighter than I did before. It took some time, these feelings didn’t happen overnight by any means. I had to walk through a valley of darkness, hand in hand with the devil himself to get to the top of the mountain where I currently reside. This rocky path to becoming a mother was HARD. The moments of complete defeat and isolation smothered me. I was certain that God forgot about me, forgot about my dreams of becoming a mother. He KNEW the kind of mother I needed to be and knew what it had to take to get me there. HE answered prayers I didn’t even know I had.
Thank you Jesus for all the moments it took to get me right here. The good, the bad, the heartbreaking….just Thank you for loving me the way that you do. Thank you for my husband Wyatt and our heavenly boys , Asa and Armie and for our rainbow baby. I LOVE this family of mine.
BIG THANK YOU to Winsome + Wright for always capturing the sweetest moments of my life. I love our friendship more than words.
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