Hello friends, I’ve almost forgotten how to blog. It’s been a minute since we’ve last spoke and I’m sorry about that. Life got a little crazy there for a moment from moving back to my hometown, getting settled into our new home, getting a job, quitting said job, seeing a fertility specialist, getting pregnant with our rainbow baby and all the worries and joys that come along with a pregnancy after a pregnancy loss. I’ve been mentally occupied to say the least but it’s so refreshing to be here, typing to you. I’m thankful for all of your support along the way. Your words of encouragement and just the simple “Hey, just checking in on you” posts have been really special to me. Thank you.

My little pregnancy update:

I’m officially in my third trimester. 28 weeks. I can’t believe we’ve made it this far. This baby has no idea the love that’s waiting for him/her. We are beyond thankful for each day with our baby bear. We don’t take a second of this pregnancy for granted. As most of you know, we lost our twin baby boys, Asa and Armie last March and it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, grief and acceptance. It’s been a hard journey to get to where we are now but we are thankful…oh so thankful for the promise that God gave us. Our rainbow.

This pregnancy has been more mentally and emotionally challenging than physically. In fact this baby has REALLY taken it easy on it’s mama. I never had bad morning sickness, just a little queasy for a couple of weeks in the beginning and a massive headache that lasted two months but nothing I couldn’t handle. I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum with the boys and I thought that feeling THAT awful was normal in pregnancy. Turns out it’s NOT normal at all. I kept on calling my doctor in panic and saying “I should be feeling worse, something is wrong.” No, nothing was wrong at all, I was just having a normal, healthy pregnancy with fewer pregnancy symptoms.

We’ve had a couple of little scares this pregnancy mostly because my husband and I are very paranoid this go around, understandably. One of the many scares was that our doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat around 13 weeks which was clearly very traumatizing for us. We felt like everything was unfolding again, just like the last time. We sat in the waiting room in complete silence and I just looked at Wyatt and said ” We have to pray”…and that’s all we did. I’ve repeatedly said, probably over a million times this pregnancy, “God, let your will be done. Whatever your plan is for this baby, let it be done.”  I found such comfort in knowing that my Savior, the one that died for me, the one that has forgiven me time and time again, the one that gave me my twin boys and the one that gave me my rainbow baby was never going to let me down. He had a miraculous plan for my life and he wasn’t stopping there. We went into our emergency ultrasound and baby was absolutely perfect. He/She was kicking away saying “Hey mom and dad, I’m not going anywhere.” We even got a shot of them sucking on their thumb. We cried a lot that day…but they were only happy tears. Praise God. 

We’ve had a few spontaneous doctor visits along the way because I wasn’t feeling baby move as much or just needed reassurance that everything was okay. I get in my head a little too often and it ends up doing more bad than good but thankfully I have a team of doctors that are beyond understanding and are willing to do anything for my mental health even if that means seeing them once a week to hear the heartbeat. Wyatt and I ended up buying our own doppler because these past couple of weeks have been really stressful. We needed the comfort of knowing that we could grab the doppler whenever we needed to check on baby at any time of day or night. I highly recommend getting one.

About two weeks ago Wyatt and I rushed to the ER at midnight. I had regular cold symptoms, GERD symptoms and baby was pushing up into my lungs and I just COULD NOT breathe. I had 3 or 4 massive panic attacks that night. The doctor gave me what he could to help with my GERD issues and put me on oxygen but other than that, I just had to deal with the discomfort. It was awful and I never want to experience that again. I feel much, much better now, just taking it really easy on myself from here on out. Since then I’ve been battling a little bit of anxiety and depression. It kind of just popped up out of nowhere, truly at the worst time. Some of you may not know that I’ve struggled mentally my whole life, however, I’ve really been able to manage my mental health for the past two years and then boom: Darkness hit me when all I wanted was to be happy. I’m thankful for my husband for being so understanding and doing everything he can to make me feel better. Also shout out to my friends that stay consistently amazing. They keep me laughing and keep my mind busy. That’s all I need right now.  

There have been plenty of moments where God has really put us in our place, forcing us to trust Him. We’ve landed on our knees in prayer more times than I can even count in the last 7 months. We’ve really had to let go and let God on this baby and it’s taught us so much. We are going to be AWESOME parents, I know that for sure. I’m thankful to God for this challenge if it means I’ll be a better mother because of it.

Here’s some fun little updates:

How Far Along: 28 weeks

Sex Of Baby: We’re not finding out but interested in hearing what you think it might be!

Name: We have a couple names picked but I need to meet baby before I really know what name it’s meant to have.

Total Weight Gain: 20 Pounds (Getting sick really set me back a few pounds, I’m working hard to gain that weight back.)

Maternity Clothes: I haven’t been able to live without them since my first trimester. I live in my maternity black leggings!

Stretch Marks? None yet.

Sleep: It’s pretty consistent nowadays. I have to flip over every hour or so and then fall right back to sleep. Really looking forward to tummy sleeping again!

Movement: I can’t keep tabs on this baby. Some days it’s VERY active with big rolls and kicks to the ribs and other days it sleeps like it’s in hibernation or something.

Current Cravings: Chocolate Covered Strawberries but give me anything and I’ll eat it.

Belly Button In Or Out? Halfway in, halfway out. Makes me laugh.

Best Thing That Happened This Week? Beginning my 3rd trimester has been pretty relieving and exciting. Simple things like feeling baby’s kicks makes me feel better every single time. Lastly, the nursery is coming together nicely. Just a few little things needed to have it complete!

That’s all for now! I’ll do another update in a month or so! I wanna do a nursery tour as well as a ‘What’s In My Hospital Bag’ post so be on the lookout for those. Love you all!

My Outfit

Maternity Jeans Under $35 | Top

Xoxo,

Karissa Marie

We have less than a month to go until we meet our sweet, sweet baby. We could not be more thankful and more thrilled to become parents to our rainbow. We’ve been running around like crazy prepping for this baby. My third trimester has FLOWN by because everyday is jammed packed with things to finish before our little one gets here. Our nursery is about 90% complete, we just have a few little things here and there. We just had our baby shower this past Sunday which was an absolute dream come true. It took a team of people to accomplish and took a lot of prep time but the end result was absolutely something out of a movie! I can’t thank my friends and family enough for all their love and support. (Might put up a blog post about it. What do you think?)

While running a business, prepping for our baby, finishing house projects and trying to find time for our family and friends, Wyatt and I have forgotten about JUST US for a minute there. The only time I can think of where him and I can just breathe, cuddle and relax is right before bed and Sunday mornings. We’ve gotten a little distracted by all that’s going on in our lives to give our relationship a little TLC. I get so emotional when I think about how Wyatt and I have had the pleasure of being just him and I for 9 years. I’m so thankful for every memory with him and the journey it took for us to get right where we are. Now we embark on a new chapter of our lives and no I’m not crying while typing this, you are. Everything is about to change, it’s not just going to be us TWO anymore and there’s something so bittersweet about that.

Wyatt, I love you. I love the special time we’ve had together before becoming parents. I love every bit of our love story so far from our late night phone conversations when we were just 14 years old, to that time by your pond in your backyard when you first told me you loved me, to the car rides where we blasted the music and sang our hearts out even though you and I can’t sing at all, to that one time you proposed to me in Times Square, to our first dance at our wedding, to our big road trip across the country and struggling to pay rent in NYC, to the birth of our angel baby boys…to right now. I’ve loved it all. As we close this chapter and welcome in a new one, I just want to say that I love you beyond words and I cannot wait to see you as a daddy. You’re going to be so amazing at it.

BIG thank you to my dear friend, Nicolette from NicoletteYoung.Com for capturing our last moments as just the two of us in our home. We are so blessed to know her and call her our friend.

With love,

Karissa Marie

Nicolette Young Photography

We made it. We finally made it. I’m sitting here, nursing my beautiful baby girl, typing up my labor and delivery story…this moment is something I’ve dreamt of for a long, long time. God answers our prayers in magnificent ways and I could not be more grateful for the difficult journey that got me right here.

I was made to be Everly’s mama…it was meant to be.

Why We Had To Induce

Let’s jump right into the story of how our Everly Avenue Rain came into this world. (Keep in mind that we didn’t find out the sex!) I was 35 weeks and I felt like my belly growth and weight had hit a standstill. I made it clear to my doctor that this was worrisome to me, considering our twin boys were constantly measuring smaller and smaller. We got an ultrasound around 37 weeks and the doctor confirmed that we did in fact have a tiny baby, measuring around 5 pounds, but based on our genetics, it was completely normal. Wyatt was born 5 pounds and I was born around 6 pounds. Our doctor didn’t want me to go past 39 weeks because baby was just maxed out. Evie wasn’t really receiving any nutrients and she was ready to have mama’s milk. She asked us if we were ready to set an induction date that was just two days away and Wyatt and I looked at each other in shock. We both weren’t ready to make that kind of decision so we told her that we needed a day or two to think about when we wanted to induce.

Setting An Induction Date

We were so excited that the conversation was FINALLY here. We wanted to meet this baby more than anything but we had a hard time choosing her birthday because we felt like only God could make that choice. In the end, we knew in our hearts that both my body and baby were ready. We decided that we would get induced the following Monday, May 14th. It was a VERY eventful weekend that kept our minds busy. Wyatt’s birthday was Saturday, May 12th and Mothers Day was on Sunday. Our little one wanted to join the party that’s for sure. I’m gonna love the month of May for the rest of my life! We did everything we could that weekend to go into labor naturally–walks, bouncing on a exercise ball, eating spicy foods…we tried it all but no luck.

INDUCTION DAY! 

We didn’t get a minute of sleep that night. Our nerves were out of this world because we knew we were about to meet our rainbow baby! We arrived at the hospital at 7:15 A.M. with our hospital bag in hand and a whole lot of love in our hearts. We were ready.

They set us up in Room 7 which is Wyatt’s favorite number. I got in my hospital gown, said a prayer and got comfortable because I was going to be there awhile. We met with our doctor and tried to plan the unplanned. We started out with a very small dose of Cytotec around 8:05 A.M and from there was A LOT OF WAITING! I started to feel stronger contractions pretty soon after. I contracted for most of my pregnancy so it wasn’t news to me. I should mention that I had been 1cm dilated since 34 weeks. It was around 11AM that I started to feel contractions that made me stop in my tracks. I really had to breathe through these ones but they weren’t unmanageable by any means. Fast forward to 2 A.M. and I was in SO MUCH PAIN but lets not get ahead of ourselves. My doctor checked my cervix at noon and I was still 1 cm dilated. More waiting. We tried to stay busy by walking the hallways, eating a lot of food, watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S, and sleeping when we could. Around 4PM, I was checked again and was measuring around 2cm. Even more waiting. There’s not much to update between 4PM and 7PM.

MY WATER BROKE!

Around 7:45pm my water broke while I was bouncing on an exercise ball. I freaked out. “WYATT, MY WATER BROKE! MY WATER BROKE!” He said, “No it didn’t.” He picked up my gown and didnt see anything at first and said again, “No, it didn’t, I’m sure you just peed.” (Major eye roll.)
I just continued panicking and saying over and over again “My water broke! My water broke!” Wyatt finally saw the fluid and ran to tell our nurse. It was progress and I was thankful. They say it takes the longest to get from 1cm to 5cm but from 5cm to 10cm it’s much easier. That was absolutely the case for me. After my water broke, my contractions really started to get painful but I was still only dilated to a 2.

PAIN MANAGEMENT & Dilating to 10CM

I can’t rememeber exactly what happened next because I was in so much pain. Everything from here on out until the birth is kind of a blur. I asked for Fentanyl to take the edge off around 830pm and finally got my epidural around 10:30pm. It provided relief immediately but didn’t last forever. I still felt my contractions on my left side the majority of the time and HOLY MOLY!!!! They hurt like a mother. Somewhere around this time I got a small dose of Pitosin to help me dilate more. Wyatt and I tried to sleep through what we could. Again, everything was a blur but around 3AM they checked me and I was only a 3. My contractions from here on out were absolutely awful and it makes sense because when my nurse checked me again just two hours later she said “Oh, it’s time to have baby!” I was dilated to a 10! Unreal. That was so fast and I was not prepared. I had a photographer and sister-in-law that I needed to notify when I was around 6cm dilated but we skipped past that way too fast. I said to my mom “Plug in the curling iron!” and said to Wyatt,” Call Kayle and Whitney!” My nurse laughed at my initial reaction but there was no way in heck that my photographer and video girl were going to miss this. No. My photographer was 30 minutes away and my sister-in-law was about 45 minutes out. My nurse said we could wait on pushing for about 20 minutes but after that we needed to get baby down further in the birth canal.

TIME TO HAVE A BABY!

Around 5:20AM we started the first phase of pushing. Wyatt, my mom and our amazing nurse were the only ones in the room and we had worship music blasting. Kayle, my out of this world photographer, ran in. She literally rolled out of bed in the middle of the night to take my photos and I’m so grateful for her. Soon after, my sis-in-law arrived and she was so relieved she made it in time. I’m thankful she was in the room and got to experience the birth of her baby brothers daughter. It was special to have her there and to record it all for us! After a handful of pushes, baby was ready to come out. My doctor came in (ironically the same one that saw me right after I delivered my twins boys) got set up and it was go time. I started really pushing around 5:40 A.M. and the entire process was incredibly peaceful. I was lucky enough to have a near perfect pregnancy, which I thought was deserving considering what I had been through in the past, and my delivery absolutely matched. It was beautiful and calm, everything that I had asked God for. Between pushes, Wyatt would give me some water because my mouth and lips were so dry and there wasn’t a whole lot of talking..everyone was focused and ready to meet this baby.

We all listened to Hillsong worship music and I think the entire room–doctor, nurses, family and all–knew how special this moment was about to be. Everyone knew the pain Wyatt and I had endured and how everything felt like dejavu. We’ve done this before. We’ve been here before but this time we didn’t have to say goodbye to our baby…No. We were keeping this baby. All I could think about while pushing my life away was that we were about to finally meet the baby that healed our hearts and saved our lives.

Welcome Home Everly

At 6:01 A.M, our beautiful rainbow was born. There was not a dry eye in the room. The moment took my breath away and it’s something that I’ll hold very close to heart for the rest of my days. We were all so happy and on cloud nine that EVERYONE forgot about the sex of the baby! Two minutes later I said “WAIT! WHAT IS IT!” Everyone laughed and Wyatt picked up Evie’s leg and screamed, “IT’S A GIIIIRRRRLLLL!” As if I wasn’t already sobbing, I began to like REALLY ugly cry…like bad. I wanted a girl so bad but never spoke it into the universe. I was positive, this entire pregnancy, that it was a boy. All of the old wives tales lead me to believe it was a boy. I bought boy clothes, I decorated everything with more of a boyish theme–it was supposed to be a boy! Or so I thought. It’s just funny, magical and oh so beautiful how much God knows my heart. I asked and he answered.

Evie was a tiny little thing. She weighed 5 pounds, 12 Ounces and was 19 inches long. She’s nothing but legs that girl. She came out looking JUST like her daddy and it blows me away every time I look at them. Wyatt knew this whole time in his heart it was a girl. He didn’t even need to work hard to connect with her. Their bond was instantly unbreakable. It’s been absolutely incredible to see him as a father to our little girl. He leaves me breathless with how much he loves and cares for her. I’m one lucky baby mama.

Baby girl and mama were as healthy as can be. We all continued to cuddle and kiss on our sweet girl at the hospital until the next day we finally got to go home and the rest is history. We’ve loved every minute with her. I truly don’t remember life before her.

Everly Avenue Rain, thank you for picking us to be your mama and daddy. We are going to spend the rest of our lives teaching you about Jesus, giggling and playing dress up, telling you about your brothers in heaven and loving you beyond words. If you read this someday, please know that you brought happiness and a little bit of heaven with you. You brought us peace.

We love you beyond what our hearts could ever hold.

Our Happily EVERLY After.

With love,

Karissa Marie

P.S.

Jesus. He makes all things new. He took what was once broken and made it whole. He alone I owe all the glory. I thank him for Everly and I thank him for her brothers.

This mama is so happy… so so happy.

Photos: Wegher Photo + Film